There are occasions in life where avoidance works, except, in instances where avoidance is due to ‘hoping it will blow over’ or when a situation requires our full attention such as getting up to speak, but we want an escape-route from the difficult feelings were experiencing.
We tend to avoid feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Or, for many, they have been trained in their formative years of childhood, that particular and often inevitable (at one time or another) emotional-states are not especially safe to express, such as disagreeance, upset and nervousness, which we are supposed to be avoided-at-all-costs.
The problem is, Avoidance is not an effective problem-solving skill. Avoidance sets up ‘fear’ – fusion, evaluation, avoidance, reasons: – ‘worry’.
And here’s another ‘why’ it is ineffective . . .
If you avoid because it’s awful-to-worry/think-about-it – you end up worrying more.
When people engage in worry, they are typically trying to think their way out of uncomfortable-emotions. Over-thinking to try to escape feelings of uncertainty but the feeling of uncertainty only expands. This is when people feel stuck in uncertainty, worry, overwhelment, fear and frustration
HOW TO STOP AVOIDING
Get out of the mind, re-conect with your authentic-state (other SHE Talks® articles refer to what this is) and into life – be engaged face on in he moment!
IN THE MEANTIME
Use “defusion” skills which help un-hook worryand fear rather than push worry or fear aside. Defusion skills reduce the psychological grip of intrusive thoughts. For many people defusion skills are highly effective.
- Singing your intrusive thought in the tune of a familiar song.
- Saying the thought in the voice of a funny character like Donald Duck.
. . . a thought is just a thought. It is just a string of words.
. . . accept that a situation is there to be solved.
Removing blocks is one of the most important steps in self mastery, business, and our life! ~Dr. Fur Wale
SHE Talks® is the most effective self-mastery platform customised for women, delivered by a female expert Dr. Fur Wale.
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